I just turned 10 weeks last Thursday, going on 11 this week. Things are progressing well. I have somehow managed to sidestep morning sickness altogether, but the fatigue and moodiness remain, and rampantly! I did have a scare last week with a little spotting, but it turned out to be nothing. But without really knowing at that point in time, I had myself in quite a tizzy. I couldn't imagine getting this far for nothing (again), yet realize many women go through miscarriages all the time and it breaks my heart. I already lost one child myself; to lose another might be more than I could handle. I'm praying so hard that this pregnancy makes it all the way, but there is just no way to tell. If I learned anything from my past experience, its that your life can change in an instant. I am trying to enjoy this pregnancy and this little baby growing inside me everyday, but on the flip side, I find it very hard to connect when I don't know if he/she is healthy. Its such a burden, but I have to live with it. I don't have the luxury of "ignorant bliss" that other pregnant woman have.
Meanwhile, I can't stop eating. Its completely ridiculous. If I wake up at any time dring the night, I have to eat. My hunger becomes so ferocious that it hurts. And with that obviously, comes weight gain. Though I've only gained about 3 lbs at this point, it looks like 10 to me. And I think, "where the HELL am I going to put the other 25 lbs???" Seriously, I am 5'1" people!! I don't have room left in this body of mine. I am going to come down to the wire, walking into the labor room looking like a freaking oompa loompa. I don't take this lightly. I know its temporary and I will lose about 20 of those a month after birth, but that doesn't do much for me when I'm feeling like a brick house NOW. Nobody said it was easy though I guess. However, if I wasn't craving cinammon rolls and donuts on a regular basis, maybe it wouldn't be as bad. Seriously, who craves broccoli?
For now, I am still counting the days until my NT scan. You would think I wouldn't be looking forward to it, and I'm really not, but I'm ready to start loving this baby full force and looking ahead to all the great things to come.