I just turned 10 weeks last Thursday, going on 11 this week. Things are progressing well. I have somehow managed to sidestep morning sickness altogether, but the fatigue and moodiness remain, and rampantly! I did have a scare last week with a little spotting, but it turned out to be nothing. But without really knowing at that point in time, I had myself in quite a tizzy. I couldn't imagine getting this far for nothing (again), yet realize many women go through miscarriages all the time and it breaks my heart. I already lost one child myself; to lose another might be more than I could handle. I'm praying so hard that this pregnancy makes it all the way, but there is just no way to tell. If I learned anything from my past experience, its that your life can change in an instant. I am trying to enjoy this pregnancy and this little baby growing inside me everyday, but on the flip side, I find it very hard to connect when I don't know if he/she is healthy. Its such a burden, but I have to live with it. I don't have the luxury of "ignorant bliss" that other pregnant woman have.
Meanwhile, I can't stop eating. Its completely ridiculous. If I wake up at any time dring the night, I have to eat. My hunger becomes so ferocious that it hurts. And with that obviously, comes weight gain. Though I've only gained about 3 lbs at this point, it looks like 10 to me. And I think, "where the HELL am I going to put the other 25 lbs???" Seriously, I am 5'1" people!! I don't have room left in this body of mine. I am going to come down to the wire, walking into the labor room looking like a freaking oompa loompa. I don't take this lightly. I know its temporary and I will lose about 20 of those a month after birth, but that doesn't do much for me when I'm feeling like a brick house NOW. Nobody said it was easy though I guess. However, if I wasn't craving cinammon rolls and donuts on a regular basis, maybe it wouldn't be as bad. Seriously, who craves broccoli?
For now, I am still counting the days until my NT scan. You would think I wouldn't be looking forward to it, and I'm really not, but I'm ready to start loving this baby full force and looking ahead to all the great things to come.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
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1 comment:
Hang in there girl! Lets go to lunch again soon, b/c I am hungry all the time too!!!
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